9 Books to Help Your Child to Stop Hitting

There are many reasons why your child may be hitting. It could be related to difficulty communicating, an inability to process emotions, a desire to push boundaries, or they could be attempting to exert power, (among many others).  As you try to determine the why behind the behavior it’s important to be consistent with your approach.

 1. Remember to remain calm and intervene every time it occurs. Take a deep breath and repair with care. 

2. Demonstrate a behavior they can do instead of the aggressive one. 

3. Remind your child that hitting hurts. If necessary, remove your child from the situation. It’s not fair for others to be hit and sometimes taking a step away is an important preventative behavior. 

4. Use the calm and peaceful times as an opportunity to teach new behaviors. Naughty behaviors can feel extremely overwhelming. Whenever I’m trying to correct an unwanted behavior in my children or my students I often turn to books for some assistance. Age appropriate books can offer examples that make sense to your kids. 

Here are 9 books to help your child to stop hitting. 

Hands Are Not for Hitting (Board Book) (Best Behavior Series)

by Martine Agassi Ph.D. (Author), Marieka Heinlen (Illustrator)

No Hitting!: A Lift-the-Flap Book

By Karen Katz

Little Dinos Don't Push

By Michael Dahl
Illustrator Adam Record

The Way I Act

By Steve Metzger
Illustrator Janan Cain

Kindergators: Hands Off, Harry! 

by Rosemary Wells (Author, Illustrator)

Kind Hands Don't Hurt

by Maureen Badu  |

Cool Down and Work Through Anger (Learning to Get Along®)

by Cheri J. Meiners M.Ed. (Author)

When Miles Got Mad 

by Sam Kurtzman-Counter (Author), Abbie Schiller (Author)

I'm Feeling Mad (Daniel Tiger's Neighborhood)

Part of: Daniel Tiger's Neighborhood | by Natalie Shaw and Jason Fruchter

Ready, Set, Breathe as a Family

5 Tips to Get the Whole Family Feeling Zen Again

By Elissa Cirignotta

Breathing is basically the answer to anything and everything. Conscious breathing can dissolve heated emotions and quickly recalibrate the energy in a room. You can feel calmer, more relaxed, and at ease within seconds of focused breath work. It is quite literally the source of life. There are innumerable scientifically proven benefits to the practice of listening to, controlling, and changing your breath. There are also functional correlations between your breath and your emotional state. Breathwork is useful for any ole human being but for a toddler, kid, or teen, all of whom have actively developing brains, this practice can be life changing.

You are your child’s biggest teacher. They will first learn this practice by watching you sit quietly and consciously breath. Family breathing time should not replace your own personal practice but rather, enhance it. If you’re ready to have your household feeling zen try these next strategies to get your family meditation started.

Read Full Article Here.

That Time Covid Hijacked my Pregnancy: A Birth Story

By Elissa Cirignotta

I was hoping to write a super cathartic & redemptive birth story. Instead here I am again sludging through some messy, complicated, and unpredictable feelings. This is a story of surrender where both gratitude and mourning can be witnessed. 

Birth is a mystery. Having already experienced the wild ride that is birth I knew going into it again that I must keep an open mind. With my first son I had an 84 hour labor that ended in an non emergent C-section because while I remained in active labor for days my body did not dilate. I tried really really hard to have a vaginal birth and had lots of big emotions for weeks after about how things ended up. In many ways I felt like a failure. Clearly something was wrong with me and/or my body that I wasn’t able to birth my child in the natural goddess given way. 

There were things I knew I needed to heal and some traumas that I knew I needed to address and I was committed to giving it my all. I also wanted to attempt a vaginal birth one more time. I started regular mental health therapy, Birth Trauma Resolution Therapy, Physical Therapy, Pelvic Floor Therapy, Chiropractic Care, and Prenatal Massage. I hired the best doula in town and decided to work with my favorite midwife to attempt a homebirth VBAC (vaginal birth after cesarean). I spent thousands of dollars in copays and fees and collected a team of people to support me through this journey. While knowing that this birth could go any number of ways I remained hopeful that I would and could birth my boy at home. 

Nothing, and I repeat, absolutely nothing could have prepared me for the knock down that was getting Covid at 38 weeks pregnant. It hit me hard and took me down. Of all the symptoms the most challenging was the paralyzing fatigue and lack of energy. The head to toe body aches were a close second. Every day the symptoms were new and different but I assumed I was getting better. I mean, I had to get better. Right? There’s only so much garlic-onion-thyme-oregano tea that a person can drink. Around day 7 we rolled into a Full Moon. That Thursday night contractions started. My first thought was “oh hell no” alongside a knowing that I had absolutely no control over how this would unfold. Under the full moon, during a 2am bathroom trip, I said a quick prayer that this baby would stay in my womb until Monday. My body was clearly not ready and birthing in the height of this virus would impact every single thing I had envisioned for Luca’s entrance in the world. I needed more time. Contractions were slow but steady and I peacefully breathed through each one.

The following day I spiked a fever again and took a turn for the worst. My body and my baby must have known the timing was misaligned because contractions came to a complete halt while my immune system went totally haywire. I was trapped in a vicious cycle of fevering, sweating through all my clothes, and shivering uncontrollably around the clock while getting close to no sleep and having little to no energy. I was bed bound with a painfully achy body and it was becoming easier to let my mind travel to dark and lonely places. There were moments where I couldn’t see that light at the end of the tunnel. 

After several days of this cycle I consulted with a holistic physician who offered some valuable mindset therapy and prescribed me a long list of supplements and meds. That Monday morning I ended up visiting the Emergency Room to make sure baby Luca was safe and healthy in utero. After determining Luca was doing okay we were sent home to continue weathering the storm. I crawled right back into bed and watched that final episode of Selena the Series, which I would highly recommend to all of you 80s and 90s bebes.  My fever broke that morning and every hour that went by was a mix of celebration and anxiety that it might return. My energy was still depleted and the farthest I was able to make it that day was down to the kitchen and dining room. At 6:50p I texted my midwife to let her know I had been fever free since 8am! This was worth celebrating. And it meant I might still be able to have that shot at a homebirth.

Exactly 10 minutes later my contractions started and they arrived making a clear announcement. We were finishing up dinner and I wondered if Greg knew what lay ahead.  Luca was on his way however I was completely unprepared to accept this reality. I texted my birth team and told them I was going to drink lots of water, go to bed, and pretend the contractions were going away. I was able to sleep through them for a handful of hours but woke up at midnight when I just couldn’t manage any longer. I breathed through each wave in bed until I needed additional support so Greg drew me a warm bath. I called my doula and chatted with her for a bit. We decided I’d finish my bath and see if it was possible to rest again. I was assuming the warm water would stall or slow things down but after soaking for 30 minutes my contractions sped up to every 3-5 minutes and I was quickly reaching a point of desperation. Every single contraction demanded every ounce of energy that I could possibly muster and all of my attention and focus. I called Emily, the angel Doula, and 30 minutes later she was at my bedside offering soothing guidance, gentle caresses, and a steadfast presence. She reminded me to rest deeply in the space between. As time went on I started to lose sight of what was happening around me with every passing contraction. Emily called my midwife who arrived shortly after. Given my birthing history we decided to do a cervical check. I was overcome with immediate despair when my midwife Rebecca announced I had only dilated 1cm. One thing I most certainly knew for sure was that I didn’t want a repeat 84 hour labor. No thank you. Rebecca laid out 4 options. I could continue laboring at home, I could transfer to hospital A or B get an epidural/or not and continue to attempt a VBAC or I could transfer to Hospital C and get a gentle C-section. In the moment it felt most right to head to my preferred hospital where I could have a gentle C-section. My body and mind were being pushed to the limit and I was afraid things could play out similarly to how they evolved with my firstborn. Mind you, 24 hours before this I was lying in bed convinced I wasn’t going to survive.  

By the time I got to the hospital I was having contractions every 30 seconds to a minute. There were no longer resting breaks in between. I felt completely unprepared to handle every contraction that arose. It was becoming unbearable and I felt lost out at sea drowning in every wave that crashed through my body. And then suddenly I had the urge to both push and poop. I knew what this meant and after several contractions with this new sensation I finally said it out loud. The OB checked my cervix and we discovered I had dilated to 8 cm. My water immediately broke and with the OB’s assistance I  went to being fully dilated at 10 cm. There is no way to describe the intensity of the whole situation. If you know you know. I was in some kind of a trance only minimally aware of what was happening around me. I was given the option to vbac and told it would likely be another 3-5 hours of pushing given how high the baby was. In that moment I searched within me to see if I could access the power that I knew I needed to deliver this baby vaginally. I couldn’t do it. Or rather, I chose not to do it. The decision that felt the most right for my sick, fatigued, weathered body was a gentle C-section. That was the decision that I trusted would keep me from drowning. 

I was desperately hoping I’d never have to make this choice. In a way there was a sense of empowerment behind it because it was my decision. I was respected and supported every step of the way. But this wasn’t what I wanted. This wasn’t how I wanted things to be going. This wasn’t where I wanted to be.

From that moment everything went quickly. I was wheeled into the OR and Brogan, the most incredible Labor and Delivery nurse ever, held my arms and let me rest my Covid covered forehead on her shoulder while I quietly breathed through my final contractions. That’s a distinct clear memory for me. I felt so much presence from this near stranger nurse who lovingly held me through this moment of transition. A transition that offered immediate full body relief alongside a deep internal sadness. Brogan was the nurse I didn’t know I needed.  

Luca Salvatore was pulled out of my belly at 10:20am roaring just like his brother did. In every imaginable way he was/is perfect, a bringer of light. I know for certain that our souls have danced in previous incarnations. I walk through the world with 2 guardian angels at all times, my beloved Nonno Salvatore and my Zio Giovanni. Luca entered the world on Zio Giovanni’s birthday and is named after Nonno and there isn’t a doubt in my mind that my Angels guided and protected the both of us through our birthing journey.

In the aftermath I’d be lying if I told you I wasn’t disappointed. I’m actually pretty painfully disappointed. And it still feels raw. I didn’t get the birth I was hoping for. I didn’t even come close to it. But I know that I did the best I could with a pretty rotten situation. Fuck you Covid. I have a perfectly delicious baby and so much postpartum support. I feel cared for, nurtured, and loved by my immediate and far away family and friends. I hold so much gratitude for everyone that crossed this birthing path with me, except for Resident Flinters. (Name has been changed to protect his identity.) 

There’s nothing easy about birth. The process of surrendering into something you absolutely can not control requires big-time strength. This narrative I let creep in that only women able to vaginally birth (without meds) are truly powerful feels unfair and toxic and I’m actively working to rewrite it. Give me time and at least 29 more therapy sessions to get there.

In short, things didn’t go my way and I’m super bummed about it. I’m also wildly grateful it’s over, that my beloved Luca is now in my arms, and that I have tools and support in place to help me navigate postpartum, post covid, and post surgery.  For now I’ll allow the tears to accompany my joy. I’ll also continue to offer gratitude to everyone and everything that helped me through one of the hardest experiences of my life.

My advice to expecting mamas: 

1. When in doubt, hire the Doula. 

2. Have a plan, be open to changing it. 

3. Accept help and food. 

4. Prioritize sleep. 

5. Say Thank You, all the time. 

6. Build a Birth Team that you trust.

7. Surrender to the unfolding.

8. Feel it all.

Birth Images from Andrea Oleson.

Helping Kids Navigate Big Feelings and Emotions

Helping Kids Navigate Big Feelings and Emotions

By Elissa Cirignotta

We live in a society that is obsessed with putting things in boxes and creating labels for each of those boxes. We want things to make sense and be orderly. The truth of the matter is, feelings are super MESSY and it can be really challenging to distinguish what exactly is going on. ESPECIALLY in little bodies. Something I’ve consciously tried to do with my students and now my own child is to demonstrate that within ourselves we have the capacity for a wide range of emotions. All of these big feelings that come and go live within us. They don’t define us however they most certainly are a part of us and a part of how we experience the world.

I’d like to think that happiness is our true natural state. I suppose I’d like to even consider it our baseline. Many emotions are reactions. Fear is a reaction to our safety being threatened in some way. Sadness is a reaction to loss or disappointment. Anger could be a reaction to feeling like your needs aren’t being met. In any given day your child could feel 8-20 different emotions. By simply observing what your child is feeling and then commenting on it in a nonjudgmental and accepting way we help teach them to identify these emotions in themselves.

For Example:

• "Your shoulders are hunched over and I see that you are crying. You look like you might be sad.”

• “You're jumping up and down and talking loudly! You must be excited!”

• “I understand. You feel safer when I tell you in advance what our plans are.”

• “You look confused. Can I help you?”

• “I hear you! You would rather not eat the __________ for dinner.”

Recognizing and acknowledging a spectrum of emotions is the first step in learning how to manage them. 

As kids begin to distinguish what it is they might be feeling it will become easier to navigate that particular emotion.

Once you feel like your child has developed a good understanding of a spectrum of emotions try using the prompt, “When I feel _________ I need __________.” I would go so far as to write it down and post it in a common area. We have this written in my son’s play space. As you’re moving through your day take time to discuss a variety of feelings and emotions. This will help immensely when you’re in the middle of a BIG EMOTION. It’s very empowering to know what you need to do to help yourself feel better. This gives your child tangible tools and you, a deeper understanding of your child’s needs.

Additional resources:

1.      Make an Emotions Wheel with your kids.

2.      Create a DIY Emotions Game.

3.      Develop vocabulary around their emotions with this Art Activity.

Throughout the next several weeks try this activity:

Pick an emotion (not limited to the following list) and have your child make a face that shows this emotion, then either verbally or in writing describe how their body feels when they feel this emotion and then recount a time that they felt this way.

Todd Parr Feelings Cards come in handy for this activity!

• Happy

• Sad

• Angry

• Disgust

• Scared

• Worried

• Anxious

• Joy

• Excited

• Jealous

• Proud

• Loved

• Bored

• Annoyed

• Nervous

• Peaceful

• Mad

Here’s a Positive Thinking Guided Relaxation to try at home:

Have kids lie down in a comfortable position. Spray the bottom of their feet with a lavender spray or apply a bit of diluted lavender to their wrists or ankles.

Relax your feet, and take a big deep breath. 

Relax your hands, and take a big deep breath. 

Open your jaw, and take a big deep breath. 

Let your shoulders relax, and take a big deep breath. 

Feel your belly rise and fall with every breath you take. 

(Wait for 5 quiet belly breaths) 

As your child begins to  relax ask them to quietly repeat the affirmations to themselves (Silently in their mind)

I love myself just the way I am.

I am beautiful.

I am unique.

My body is healthy and strong.

My mind is brilliant and creative.

My heart is kind and at peace.

I am Happy Being Me.

I deserve to be happy.

Book Lists:

1. Is a Worry Worrying You? By Ferida Wolff

2. Brave as can be, by Jo Witek

3. The Way I Feel, by Janan Cain

4.  When I Feel Scared (Way I Feel Books), by Albert Whitman & Co

5. The Dark, by Lemony Snicket

6. The Feelings Book, by Todd Parr

7. The Color Monster, by Anna Llenas

8. In My Heart: A Book of Feelings, by Jo Witek

9. Brave as a Mountain Lion, by Ann Herbert Scott

10. There's an Alligator Under My Bed, by Mercer Mayer

11. Curious George Goes to the Hospital, by Margret Rey and H. A. Rey

12. The Owl Who Was Afraid of the Dark, by Jill Tomlinson

13. First Day Jitters, by Julie Danneberg

14. Badger's Parting Gifts, by Susan Varley

15. The Little Old Lady Who Was Not Afraid of Anything, by Linda D. Williams

16. My Friend is Sad (An Elephant and Piggie Book) by Mo Willems

17. When Sadness is at Your Door by Eva Eland

18. How to take the Grrr out of Anger, Elizabeth Verdick

19.  Benny’s Hat by Juliet Clare Bell

20. Sad Isn't Bad: A Good-grief Guidebook for Kids Dealing with Loss by Michaelene Mundy, R. W. Alley

21. Cool Down and Work through Anger, Cheri J Meiners M.Ed

22. When I Feel Angry, by Cornelia Maude Spelman

23. When Sophie gets Angry-Really Really Angry, by Molly Bang

24. Llama Llama Mad at Mama, by Anna Dewdney

25. Happy Hippo, Angry Duck, by Sandra Boyton

26. Zach Gets Frustrated, by William Muchahy

Feeling like your thoughts are negative? Try using these Affirmations throughout your week!

I am BRAVE.

I am learning.

I can do Hard things.  

I can do GREAT things!

I always try my best. 

I stay calm in scary situations. 

I am grateful for all the things I feel.

I am grateful for all my emotions.

Sun Salutations:

Keep those bodies moving!

Use traditional Sun Salutations as an opportunity to thank the Sun, the Moon, and all of nature while moving and empowering your bodies. Practice moving your body with the breath while offering kind words to yourselves, each other, and to the Sun. 

The poses are linked in a series and used to lengthen, strengthen, flex, and extend many of the main muscles of the body… while helping to circulate energy and oxygen throughout the body.

This is a great graphic to use to help guide you through your Salutations.

24 Fun, Engaging, & Educational Books for Toddlers

Thank goodness for books. Books are an easy way to distract, entertain, educate, engage, and re-calibrate the energy in a room. To help support you and your family’s reading experience I’ve pulled together a list of my favorite Toddler Must Reads. Grab a book, cozy up, and take an adventure with your little ones!

Don’t forget to support your local independent bookstore or library!

By Elissa Cirignotta

P Is for Potty! by Lena Cooper ; illustrated by Christopher Moroney.

We're going on a bear hunt, retold by Michael Rosen ; illustrated by Helen Oxenbury.

The going to bed book by Sandra Boynton.

Dragons love tacos by Adam Rubin ; pictures by Daniel Salmieri.

The snowy day by Ezra Jack Keats.

When Sophie gets angry--really, really angry... by Molly Bang.

In my heart : a book of feelings by Jo Witek ; illustrated by Christine Roussey.

The color monster : a story about emotions by Anna Llenas.

The very hungry caterpillar by Eric Carle.

It's okay to be different by Todd Parr.

The kindness book by Todd Parr.

Room on the Broom by Julia Donaldson ; pictures by Axel Scheffler.

The Gruffalo by Julia Donaldson ; pictures by Axel Scheffler.

If you give a mouse a cookie by Laura Joffe Numeroff ; illustrated by Felicia Bond.

Little Blue Truck leads the way by Alice Schertle ; illustrated by Jill McElmurry.

The feelings book by Todd Parr.

We are in a book! by Mo Willems

Owl babies by Martin Waddell ; illustrated by Patrick Benson.

A big guy took my ball! by Mo Willems.

Guess how much I love you by Sam McBratney ; illustrated by Anita Jeram.

Pajama time! by Sandra Boynton.

On the night you were born by Nancy Tillman.

Everywhere Babies by Susan Meyers Illustrated by Marla Frazee

Reading makes you feel good by Todd Parr.

What is Good for the Mother is Good for the Baby: 5 Reasons to Join a Prenatal Yoga Class

By Elissa Cirignotta

What is Good for the Mother is Good for the Baby. This has been a go-to motherhood mantra of mine. How are you taking care of yourself? What are you doing everyday to feel good; in your body, in your mind, and in your spirit? What are you doing to nourish yourself? These are questions that every expecting, new, and veteraned mother should be asking herself.

We’re lucky in this day and age to have a plethora of tools, education, and in-person & online resources available to help us cope and process the physical, emotional, and spiritual changes that come with impending motherhood. It’s no small feat.

My number one favorite tool for overall wellbeing has been the practice of yoga. And not necessarily just the practice of physical yoga, which might I add has countless benefits, but more-so the big picture practice of yoga. The internal (& external) discipline it fosters, the breath control, the concentration and meditative absorption, the integration it creates in my whole body & being, and the community it cultivates. It has become my constant companion.

If you’re on the fence about joining a prenatal yoga class, allow me to happily illuminate 5 fantastic reasons why you should start today!

Read Full Article HERE.

Loss in the Time of Corona

Has being a human always been this intense?!

There are so many strong opinions being shouted from the rooftops. The collective energy field is charged, heated, loud, emotional, and totally overwhelming to my central nervous system. (Anyone else with me?)
I'm having a hard time navigating this chaos. At the moment I have close to 5,000 unread emails, 35 unanswered texts, 10 unlistened to voicemails, 67 unwatched Marco Polos, and a kitchen floor that hasn't been washed in an embarrassingly long time. From start to finish it can take me a solid week to complete a load of laundry. I can't listen to or watch the news anymore and social media can easily become an unpleasant or unproductive place for me to be. I'm very much unsure of how to show up. 

This year has been many things, including weird, but another prominent theme for me has been loss. Loss of experiences, in person visits, hugs, loss of leading a fully planned and prepared Sicilian Summer Yoga Retreat that I'm still mourning, loss of spending a month in Sicily with my family, loss of a second pregnancy that shattered my heart into millions of pieces, and loss of a third pregnancy that has left me with a sensation of tingling numbness.

Breathing, moving inward, and slowing down have been my go-to responses. And of course I return to the wise words of Glennon Doyle, “Just keep doing the next right thing.“ An answer to how to solve the world's problems is highly unlikely to present itself to me, however I can keep choosing to show up and do the next right thing. To start, work on, or finish the next project that arises. To be present with the stories that are being shared with me. To not feel guilty about letting another day go by with a fantastically filthy floor and instead pour love and attention into feeding my family. To be okay with the fact that those 5,000 emails remain in my inbox and continue to rapidly grow and still choose to go out to my garden and do all the things you do in a garden. After-all I do find exponentially more joy turning my home into a drying rack for medicinal & culinary herbs than I do answering emails.

I know I'm not alone with this. Many, if not all of us, are re-calibrating and prioritizing things/causes/people/activities that align with our core belief systems. Questions like, "How do I want to be spending my time? Where do I want to be spending my money? Who do I want to be supporting? Am I in the right lane?  What am I supposed to be doing with my life?" are constantly circling around in my mind. And while I search/wait for clarity I take great comfort in all of the beauty that exists, all of the people doing their very best, all of the strong friendships I've cultivated, and in all of the small and big joys found from having a little human toddle around with me all day. The damn truth is, I don't know what lane I'm supposed to be in and I'm learning to be okay with admitting to being utterly lost in the process. What I do know for sure is that everyday is filled with miracles that are waiting to be caught and even though it can be tricky to catch them in the midst of grief, sadness, and chaos I'll keep trying. 

I waited a whole lifetime to meet this human child of mine and I’m so grateful to be sludging through 2020 with him and Grego. I’m grateful for you too.

Buck Teeth Baby

As a little girl I had “buck teeth”. I was a long time thumb sucker with large teeth which made for a little Elissa with 2 enormous and crooked front teeth.  It was my cross to bear.

When I was in 5th grade I received an anonymous letter. I didn’t get a lot of mail outside of the correspondence with my childhood Colorado penpal Jenn and remember being super excited to receive this note. I opened up the envelope and found beavers. Someone(s) found the time to thoughtfully cut out magazine clippings of beavers and if I recall correctly a few images of donkeys, place them in an envelope, find my address, and mail me this hateful message. While hurtful, it wasn’t a huge surprise. I had a group of girls who both relentlessly and painfully bullied me beginning the moment I met them. This was just another day in the life. 

That and many other hateful hurtful moments stuck with me and for many years I was extremely self conscious of my teeth, my hair, my hairiness, my weirdness, my strange Sicilian family etc etc. 

It took YEARS to work through the bullying. Years of tears, feeling alone, hating school, feeling afraid, and wanting things to be different. There was some deep soul searching going on starting a young age. I didn’t feel seen or heard. I often didn’t feel safe. I later sought out additional resources like therapy, yoga, meditation, and writing to heal past traumas.

In many ways the experience from 4th grade on shaped the direction I took later in life. I felt desperate to enter the field of education to help protect kids. To help give them a different and better learning experience than I had. I felt like I had a  duty to try to stop bullying. I wanted to help kids learn how to navigate difficult social interactions with compassion and kindness. 

I often think back to Little Elissa and wonder what she needed. 

I think she wanted someone to wrap their arms around her and tell her that she’s beautiful and strong and smart and deserving of love and respect. She wanted a cheerleader. She wanted to be lifted up to feel seen. 

I can’t go back and change the past but every once in a while I go back to those moments and I give her a squeeze. I hug little Elissa and tell her she’s magnificent and funny and creative and that I love her and am so proud of her.

I sometimes also think about my past bullies and their current children. Do they have buck teeth? Are they ‘weird’? Do they stand out as different? How would they handle their babies getting bullied? I hope they wrap them in love and tell them they are wonderful and brave and smart and beautiful. 

How would life be different if we nurtured our souls and spirits? If we nurtured others and the world around us?

Navigating a wild world can be an intense experience but fortunately there have been many great teachers who have given us tools. One of my favorite tools is from Mahatma Gandhi. “Keep your thoughts positive because your thoughts become your words. Keep your words positive because your words become your behavior. Keep your behavior positive because your behavior becomes your habits. Keep your habits positive because your habits become your values. Keep your values positive because your values become your destiny.”  

Love,

Elissa

Ps. This image was taken on Oct 21 1992. I was in 3rd grade and I had the flu. My mom had just gone into labor with my baby brother. It was picture day and they had to do something with me so I dressed myself (button up and bow I guess felt right that day) and Nonno took me to school. I didn’t last long... because I had the flu. I got picked up again a few hours later by Nonno but this time he was BEAMING. His namesake Salvatore Cirignotta had just been born. We drove straight to the hospital to meet the little guy and I got to see that cute little being through a glass wall.

Love is Alive

In these times of uncertainty when everything feels like the twilight zone it’s extra important to remember to lead with love. It’s often easier to let fear take over as it’s such a HUGE emotion but together with a little support we can make it through this time of chaos in our world. Read on for ways you can keep your kids engaged, calm, and connected.

1. Practice Gratitude

When feeling out of control my go-to tool is gratitude.

Make a List of EVERYTHING you’re grateful for.

Speak it out loud.

Not just once in the morning, but let it be a practice throughout the whole day.

It doesn’t have to be complicated. I’m thankful that the sun is out. I’m thankful for the growing flowers. I’m so thankful for my family. Thank you thank you beautiful trees who breathe alongside us. Isn’t it wonderful that we have healthy fresh food to eat! Thank you breath. etc

We are constantly faced with obstacles and new challenges and it’s through modeling how to embrace life that we teach those around us how to embark on their own journey of self-study. Kids learn how to tackle life through our example.

2. Talk to your Children about their Fears

There’s an entire blog entry just on this topic. Check it out here.

3. READ ALOUD

When in doubt, read a book. Need a book recommendation? Check out this list for lots of books about FEELINGS!

There are lots of benefits to reading out loud to your children. Some of those benefits include developing vocabulary and receptive language skills, strengthening cognition, allowing a safe way to explore emotions, increasing attention span… and much more. As an educator read alouds were always my favorite part of the school day. They are an opportunity to re-calibrate the energy in the room. A good book can calm a room, inspire curious learners, and provide a break from all the outside stressors. Grab a few books and cuddle up!

4. Move your Bodies

Stuck inside? Roll out your mats or create a special space for this activity. Turn on some music. And MOVE. Dance, shake it out, and sweat if you can!

If you can get out, then do it. Take a walk, a jog, a bike ride. Hug a tree, play a game, dig in the dirt.

Create new fun routines. Here’s a blog that may inspire you to change up your morning activities. Read it here.

Keep an eye out on my instagram page! I’ll be streaming a few yoga classes soon.

5. Connect to your breath as often as possible

If you have older kids try leading them through a guided relaxation.

Before you begin, try to create a calm vibe. Turn down the lights, turn on an oil diffuser, and perhaps have soft music in the background. Set up the space and either have your kids lie down or find a comfortable seated position.

Try this relaxation activity with them.

Begin to listen to the sound of your beautiful breath. Feel your breath coming in, listen to it going out. 
On your inhale imagine breathing in love, whatever that may mean to you. Let it fill you from your tippy toes to your finger-tips and to the top of your head. It might feel like rays of sun.
Now exhale out your fears and worries, about anything and everything...school, grades, the dark... etc.

Breathe-in love now imagining that your breath is like the sun shining into your heart. It makes you feel strong, safe, and relaxed.

Breathe out your frustrations. Breathe out your fear. Imagine seeing your fear leave your body. In your mind watch yourself waving goodbye. "Goodbye fear!"

Breathe-in love and think, “I am calm.” Breathe out love. 
Breathe in love and think, “I can do this.” Breathe out peace.

Breathe-in peace, whatever that may look like to you and feel your body relaxing. Breathe-out love.

Breathe-in love, breathe-out peace. 
Continue for as long as you want.

After a bit you may want to imagine breathing in rays of sunshine and breathing out rays of sunshine.

If you have younger kids practice your own relaxation exercise and let them reap the benefits of your calm.

6. Boost your Immune System

My favorite way to boost my family’s immune systems is through our wellness pops. They are a huge hit in our household.

Here’s how I make them: (this makes about 7 pops)

14 tablespoons of Elderberry Syrup- For a fantastic make your own syrup check out SweetGirlFarm.

1 scoop of Sufficient C

14 drops of liquid Vitamin D

5-7 Strawberries

5 Tart Cherries

1/4 cup Wild Blueberries

1/2 Banana

Blend together, pour into a mold, and freeze. We enjoy one every day!

*I’m not a doctor, please consult with your healthcare professional before making these.

Other things you can do to boost your immune system include exercising regularly, getting plenty of sleep, drinking lots of water and consuming food such as green vegetables, pomegranates, garlic, walnuts, pumpkin seeds, sardines, sweet potatoes, carrots, citrus foods, bell peppers, and turkey tail mushrooms… among others.

7. Take one step towards a goal

Or as my gal Glennon Doyle would say, keep doing the next right thing.

To all you out there, may we find peace with not knowing all the answers. May we stay safe, healthy, happy, and loved. Reach out when you need help. Wash your hands. Practice Social Distancing but keep kissing your babies. Practice Gratitude. Hug a tree.

All my love,

Elissa

PARENTING MOURNING & CELEBRATING: A BIRTH STORY

Sometimes a birth experience results in both mourning & celebration. This is story about a Cesarean birth and what sometimes comes after.

By Elissa Cirignotta

Read Full Story Here.

Feel the Feels: A Book List

There may come a day where I have plenty of time to do whatever I please. On that day I just might choose to add my synopsis of each book and why I like to read it to kids. For now, you get the list because it’s the best this #newmom can do!

Feel the Feels: A Book List for Parents and Educators

1. Is a Worry Worrying You? By Ferida Wolff

2. Brave as can be by Jo Witek

3. The Way I Feel by Janan Cain

4.  When I Feel Scared (Way I Feel Books) by Albert Whitman & Co

5. The Dark by Lemony Snicket

6. The Feelings Book by Todd Parr

7. The Color Monster by Anna Llenas

8. In My Heart: A Book of Feelings by Jo Witek

9. Brave as a Mountain Lion by Ann Herbert Scott

10. There's an Alligator Under My Bed by Mercer Mayer

11. Curious George Goes to the Hospital by Margret Rey and H. A. Rey

12. The Owl Who Was Afraid of the Dark by Jill Tomlinson

13. First Day Jitters by Julie Danneberg

14. Badger's Parting Gifts by Susan Varley

15. The Little Old Lady Who Was Not Afraid of Anything by Linda D. Williams

16. My Friend is Sad (An Elephant and Piggie Book) by Mo Willems

17. When Sadness is at Your Door by Eva Eland

18. How to take the Grrr out of Anger  Elizabeth Verdick

19.  Benny’s Hat by Juliet Clare Bell

20. Sad Isn't Bad: A Good-grief Guidebook for Kids Dealing with Loss by Michaelene Mundy, R. W. Alley

21. Cool Down and Work through Anger, Cheri J Meiners M.Ed

22. When I Feel Angry by Cornelia Maude Spelman

23. When Sophie gets Angry-Really Really Angry by Molly Bang

24. Llama Llama Mad at Mama by Anna Dewdney

25. Happy Hippo, Angry Duck by Sandra Boyton

26. Zach Gets Frustrated by William Mulcahy

Giovanni approved Lactation Cookies!

This goes out to all the mamas who appreciate a super tasty snack that will also increase your milk supply! My husband loves these cookies so there’s no need to discriminate against the non breastfeeding humans.

I love to experiment in the kitchen and attempt to make healthier versions of baked goods. After a girlfriend sent me a postpartum care package with the makings of lactation cookies I was basically hooked. It’s the best excuse to have cookies in the house ALL the time. It’s become an evening ritual to pour a cup of warm mother’s milk tea and nibble of one of these cookies.

After 4 or 5 trials I finally created my favorite recipe for my Giovanni approved lactation cookies.

Try it out and let me know how it goes for you!

INGREDIENTS:

• 2 sticks (1 cup) butter, room temperature (I’ve also made these with 1 cup of coconut oil and it works just fine)

• 1/4 cup Greek yogurt

• 1 cup coconut sugar

• 1/4 cup honey 

• 2 eggs, room temperature

• 2 teaspoons vanilla

• 1 tablespoon of molasses 

• 1 1/2 cups flour

• 3/4 teaspoon salt

• 1/2 teaspoon baking powder

• 3-4 tablespoons ground flaxseed (I grind my own with the nut mixture)

• 1/3 cup brewer’s yeast

• 1/4 cup ground or buttered almonds or walnuts

• 4-7 dates

• 1/4 cup of flaked coconut

• 3 cups old-fashioned rolled oats

• 1 1/2 cups chocolate chips

DIRECTIONS:

• Preheat oven to 350°F.  Line baking sheet  with parchment paper.

• Beat together the butter, yogurt, sugar, honey, and molasses until light and fluffy.  Mix in the eggs, one at a time, followed by the vanilla.

• Whisk together the flour, salt, baking powder, and brewer’s yeast. Add this to the sugar & butter mixture. Mix well. 

• Toss the almonds, flaxseeds, and dates into a blender. I’ve used various consistencies. Blend longer if you want a buttery consistency or pulse if you like the texture of crunchy nuts. Stir into the mixture and then add coconut flakes.

• Add oatmeal stirring in one cup at a time. 

• Stir in the chocolate chips.

• Drop tablespoons of dough onto the lined cookie sheets.  

• Bake 10-12 minutes, or until the bottom is golden brown.  

• Cool on the baking sheet for a few minutes, then transfer to a wire rack to cool completely.

• Store cookies in an air-tight container in the refrigerator for up to 2 weeks. 

ENJOY!

xoxoxoxo,

Elissa

A Dream Realized :: Sicilian Summer Yoga Retreat

A Dream Realized :: Sicilian Summer Yoga Retreat

Elissa Cirignotta

Something fairly significant happened in my life recently and in all honesty I can't stop thinking about it. Even more so, I'm still FEELING it and beaming with gratitude and joy from the entire experience.  

About 7 or 8  years ago a dream popped up in my consciousness. I got an idea that I wanted to travel back home to Sicily for work. At the time I had absolutely no clue what that could look like or what service I would provide. All I knew is that it seemed like a perfect idea! At the time I was a newbie to Oregon, living the Portland dream, broke and having a grand ole time. It seemed like a far cry from reality.

Now let’s fast forward to 2016 when I traveled back to Sicily as a stop on my honeymoon. I had since changed careers almost entirely and transitioned into a whole new path. Bringing my husband, Don Rosso, back home was its own dream come true. And then again during that trip, the same fantasy from years before was felt, although this time I had a clearer vision. I decided that I would host my very first yoga retreat in this beloved hometown of mine. Still the idea felt farfetched and I was completely insecure in my teaching skills not believing that I could ever pull something like that off.

Meanwhile that tiny seed that had been planted several years prior was now an itty bitty seedling taking on its own life-force. It felt more tangible, still very scary, yet achievable. I spent the following year and a half nurturing, honoring, and watering this seedling of a dream, truly not knowing if or how it could ever grow. Deep down, despite all the fear and insecurities, I believed it in so much that the trust in the dream is what kept me going.

After several more months of coordination and planning the time came to announce this Sicilian Summer Yoga Retreat. I was expecting no more than 9 people, if that, to be interested. To my complete and utter shock we sold out and had to upgrade our transportation, which allowed me to add additional spots, to which we sold out again.

What this meant, was that I ACTUALLY had to do the thing… with 21 people while being 4 ½ months pregnant! There was no turning back. I poured my whole entire heart into the process. I answered over 200 participant questions, helped many people buy their plane tickets, emailed & phoned back and forth with countless Sicilians, and spent hours and hours of my days considering every last detail imaginable. It seems silly to me now, but there were many nights of lost sleep worrying about whether people would like my town, if the group would get along, liability coverage, how to get 15 yoga mats to Sicily, etc etc etc…

The time finally arrived and on the Summer Solstice we commenced a week long yoga retreat in my treasured hometown of Scoglitti Sicily. Everyone arrived without difficulty, bags in hand, and ready to eat!

For the next 7 days I had a permasmile tattooed to my face. I had NONSTOP FUN. Our morning view of the Mediterranean combined with a perfect Sicilian espresso and croissant was enough to make me giddy, but it just kept getting better. I'm fairly certain that I've never had more fun  teaching yoga than on the sandy beach I grew up on with a gentle sea breeze blowing in.  No one went hungry. We ate the most delicious meals of pasta, risotto, local fresh caught fish, homemade breads, pizza, and caprese salads. Afternoons were filled with cafes, gelatos, ocean waves, baroque city explorations, interesting conversations, belly laughs, sun bathing, and reuniting with friends and family from Scoglitti. Our retreat cadre became a family. Solo travelers were taken in as part of the gang and everyone was kind and welcoming to one another.  It was dreamy in every way imaginable. 

Something I learned this past month is that the Universe supports intentions that come from a loving place and that dreams come true. That together we are stronger and that our community matters.  

My intentions for this retreat were for individual and collective healing, sweet connections, and rest and relaxation. Every day I made time to take stock of all the things, people, and experiences that make me feel gratitude. Despite being 4 ½ months pregnant and tired from the literal nonstop excitement and adventure I felt so rejuvenated and refreshed after our sacred week together. For me, this wasn't just a yoga retreat, it was a dream realized with some of the most amazing humans I know!  I am fairly certain that I'll be riding this wave for months to come. 

We concluded the retreat on a bright and beautiful Full Moon with happy hearts and full bellies. 

I think I found my calling. 

Mantras from our Daily Mediterranean Yoga Practice: 

Today I remember to be grateful. 

I choose to bloom into my most potent, powerful, and authentic self. 

I love all dimensions of myself. 

My dreams are the seeds of my future. 

I am open and receptive to all the the good, abundance, and healing in the Universe. 

All is well. May I be safe, healthy, and happy. 

---

Here’s what a few others had to say about the experience:

“This retreat by far, was the most magical experience of my life. An experience that I will take with me until I breathe my last breath. The love, beauty, family, community and food were intoxicating. Thank you for this experience.”

— Kristina Komorowski

“Elissa created a truly amazing and healing yoga retreat experience. It was like a real life experience of Eat, Pray, Love. The mornings were spent with a skillful, but accessible yoga practice on a peaceful Mediterranean beach. Followed by a delicious and healthy seafood and pasta lunch. There was enough time built into the schedule for personal reflection or exploration of Sicily. Every detail was carefully considered. And the best part is that you were welcomed as part of Elissa’s huge Sicilian family.”

— Katie Desmond  

“I came for the yoga by the seaside but was captivated by the charm and warm welcome of this small Sicilian village. I found the atmosphere invited whatever level of solitude or socialization I desired. I will cherish the connections that I found with friends new and old as well as the memories of exploring Ragusa, Modica, and Scoglitti. This was not just a yoga retreat, this was an experience of a lifetime! And the food- don’t even get me started on all the delicious cappuccinno, risotto, seafood, gelato, and wine! Elissa and Greg, you made us feel like family. I’m so lucky I got to be a part of it!”

— Emily Cogan Nieckarz

“This retreat met all of my expectations and then some! I love yoga and Elissa is one of the best instructors I’ve ever experienced. She is truly a master and was sensitive to the needs and limitations of everyone in the group. She brings light and happiness to everyone she encounters. The hotel is beautiful, on an incredible beach and everything is well done from the food to the maid service. I truly enjoyed connecting with my Italian roots - the food, the language, the warm hospitality delivered by the locals - it was all perfect. Scoglitti is a lovely little town; I find myself yearning to return. Elissa did a terrific job in helping everyone in the group connect with each other. I’ll admit that I was a bit apprehensive to go on this trip by myself, but that disappeared immediately. I quickly made new friends and always had someone to eat or walk, or expore with me. I highly recommend this retreat - I came home completely energized and recharged and with some great memories.”

— Janice D'Aloia

If you or someone you know are interested in coming on our annual Sicilian Summer Yoga Retreat, we WELCOME you! There's an early bird special on pricing until November 15th, 2018. Head on over to our retreat page for all the info. 

5 Ways to Teach Your Child Empathy

5 Ways to Teach Your Child Empathy

By Elissa Cirignotta

Imagine an existence where it was natural and normalized to love one another, to be passionate about your life, and to live in harmony with ourselves and with others around us. Let’s talk about this. It’s time for adults to step up, show up, and become more dynamic and engaged teachers.  Our younger generation depends on us right now to guide them into a better future with our global community bound together in positivity. It’s time for us to get curious, choose happiness, over and over again, say more Thank-Yous, slow down, and just breathe.

The million dollar question…Can we live as more compassionate, empathic, connected humans? I certainly hope so. Empathy is a complex skill with several different parts. It involves a sense of self awareness and the ability to distinguish your own feelings from the feelings of others. It asks us to engage in perspective taking or alternatively to put ourselves in someone else’s shoes. It requires us to acknowledge our feelings, regulate our emotional responses, and create healthy boundaries.

 Read on for 5 ways you can teach your child how to be a more compassionate little human!  

1.    Talk about Emotions!

Practice recognizing the common feelings and emotions that every person experiences throughout their lifetime… sometimes all in the course of a single day. Happiness, surprise, disappointment, sadness, anger, rage, pride, and so forth, are big time emotions. Let your child know that it is totally okay to feel them all. They are a beautiful and mysterious part of life. Try using language like, “Are you feeling hurt or disappointed? Are you angry or scared? It looks like your feelings got hurt. Are you feeling left out?” Giving these powerful feelings a name helps us maintain control over our bodies and our preceding actions. Once you’ve had a chance to identify the emotion try helping them process through what they might need. For example: “It looks like you might be feeling sad. Do you need some time to rest, a hug, or a glass of water?” For younger kids you might try using emotion cards or an emotion poster to help identify hourly emotions.

2.      Address YOUR needs. Teach your children how to handle stress by handling your own stress in a healthy way.

Your kids are watching you ALL the time. They pick up on your habits, they know when you are stressed, and they are constantly learning from you. If you lose control and yell at them every-time you feel overwhelmed you can’t expect them to do anything different. Ask yourself “How do I feel?” and “What do I need?” Be honest with yourself and with your kids. Let your family in on your process. “I am feeling very sad. I think I need to take a walk and breathe fresh air. Would you like to join me or stay with mom?”  Evaluate your needs and address them as they come up. Take care of yourself. As humans we feel a spectrum of emotions and contrary to popular belief it is OKAY to feel them ALL. Expose your kids to your emotions so that when you ask them how they feel and what they need they’ve already watched you model the process.

3.    Help kids unravel what they have in common with other people.

Let’s be real. As a species we are way more similar than we are different. That doesn’t necessarily mean that we will like everyone we meet. The world is a melting pot of different beliefs, cultural norms, and personal practices. Hopefully we are all trying our best to live happy, creative, productive lives. Learning to live in harmony with so many personalities from different life experiences can be challenging. As kids begin to understand themselves better, opportunities to explore biases and prejudices will likely emerge. Try to emphasize all the many things we have in common and CELEBRATE how our unique differences enrich our neighborhoods, schools, and greater community. Keep communication open and explore ways to keep us connected as humans. Demonstrate the value in respecting EVERYONE.

4.    Talk about and Model how our feelings influence our behavior.  

Feelings shape our behavior, our life, and our world. More precisely we shape our world to reflect or validate the way we feel. Try not to cover up feelings. Be honest with yourself and with others about how you feel. This is an extremely valuable way of taking care of yourself and advocating for your needs. Building, maintaining, and sustaining relationships is tricky, even for the best of us. Imagine how tricky this can be for an emotionally unregulated five year old. Model how to be a good friend, and how to be fully present when you are with others, stand up for what is important to you, and create healthy boundaries.  If your child hears you incessantly talking about how angry you are at a close friend in the confines of your home and then watches you pretend like everything is fine the next time you are together you are not only sending mixed messages but telling your child through your actions that it is in fact not important to advocate for your needs. Get it all out on the table, try to understand and listen to the other person’s view point, and then determine what personal boundaries you may need. Emotions are designed to appraise and summarize an experience and inform our actions. They can give us an advantage in decision making if we make proper use of them. Let yourself feel the emotions and then process them with your family or in writing. If after assessing the situation you decide to create a personal boundary that involves more space between you and your friend, tell your child why. It’s unfair to assume that we will be friends with everyone but we can instead learn how to be respectful of everyone. Go forth in bold kindness.

5.     Help kids identify other perspectives.

As you read your daily books try to understand what the characters think, believe, and feel.  Ask probing questions about how they can tell if a character is upset, frustrated, or happy.  Have conversations about what and why this is happening to the character. Apply this same type of conversation to school peers, family members, or people in the community. For example, “Did you notice that your friend Sarah was upset this morning? I bet that impacted her day. Would you like to give her a call and check in this evening?” Practice noticing how others might feel and learn to become interested in how you can offer compassion in a variety of situations.

Teaching kids empathy is one of the most important jobs of being a parent or educator. These books are great for all ages and will help make it easier to introduce the concept of Empathy. They celebrate friendship, differences, and the importance of caring for one another.

1.      Wonder

By R.J. Palacio

A rich memorable story that will pull on ALL your heartstrings. Get ready for a journey into learning how to love your inner self and be accepting of others despite what they may look like.

2.      The Invisible Boy

By Trudy Ludwig

A sweet story of empathy shows how to reach out to left-out kid at school. This story inspires kids to contemplate whether they would prefer to be invisible or bullied?

3.      Ramona the Pest

By Beverly Cleary

In this story Ramona navigates Kindergarten and explores all sorts of interesting situations and feelings!

4.      One Day and One Amazing Morning on Orange Street

By Joanne Rocklin

One very special Orange tree draws a neighborhood together in an inspiring and unique story.

5.      Stand in My Shoes

By Bob Sornson

This is a story that introduces the concept of empathy and shows kids just how easy it is to notice how others are feeling.

Help Your Child Overcome Childhood Fears

Help Your Child Overcome Childhood Fears

By Elissa Cirignotta

Image by Evelyn Cirignotta

Our fears are never going to fully go away; sometimes we overcome one and then another pops up in a different way, time, or place. They are here and a part of us. Instead of treating them like a nuisance let’s try to approach them with curiosity and compassion. I invite you to consider fear to be the places within us awaiting our love and attention. Read on for how to help your kids face and overcome their normal childhood fears with an extra dose of compassion.

Try to understand your child’s fear. Young children are still discovering the world that they live in. Their imagination is developing and things they see or hear in real life can result in the formation of scary mental images. This can lead to all sorts of fears! Including a fear of darkness or of imagining a monster in the dark room. Ask questions that help inspire introspection and help your kids sort through all of the overwhelming emotions surrounding fear. For example, “When you feel scared what happens in your body? What do you need to do in order to feel safe?”

Talk to your child. Talking to your child about your fears can help them feel more comfortable and let them know they are not alone. Ask your child to share their fears with you. If they are able to, have them explain why they are afraid of that particular thing and where that fear may have come from. Let them explain how it feels to be scared. It’s okay to let your kids know about some of your childhood fears, ones that you may have overcome, and some that keep popping up throughout your life. Show your concern and love for your child’s experience as you talk about fears. This demonstration of empathy can strengthen your bond with your child.

It’s okay to be scared. It’s common to hear parents say things like, “Don’t be scared” or “See, your friend is not scared” etc etc. Try to avoid this language. This can make your child believe that they are wrong to be scared. When kids feel like there’s something wrong with their behavior it often leads to them sharing less and less information with you. Make sure your child understands that it is alright to be afraid and to ask for help.

Listen to what they have to say. Do not ignore your child’s fear. It is there for a reason, even if you can’t fully understand it. If your child is scared of a particular relative, caregiver or a neighbor, don’t ignore it or force the child to be with that person. Instead, let your child explain what makes them fearful of that person or experience. Even if you think the person is unlikely to cause any harm give your child the benefit of the doubt.  Listen to what they have to say and let them feel heard.

Take it seriously. There’s a time and place for making jokes. Sometimes it can be healing to treat fears with a lighter more jovial approach but when you are first exploring your child’s fears take them all seriously. Making fun of a child’s fear will not make them less fearful. It can however increase their anxiety and lower their self-esteem. This can lead to more intense problems like developing phobias which is an advanced state of fear. We can overcome fears only with your love, care, and attention.

Give them time to process. Do not force your child to do something that they are scared of. Allow them the time to process, adjust as needed, and determine what steps are needed to face this fear. Support them with love and care.

Model being brave. Kids are social learners and will often follow your lead, your actions, and your cues. Notice how you respond when you encounter fear. If you flail your arms, scream, and run out of the the room every time you see a spider your child may react in similar ways when they encounter something they are afraid of. Next time you see that terrifying spider, take 3 big deep breaths, voice your concern if you must, and make a plan. “Mommy is very scared right now. I am going to take a big breath and move away from the spider.”

Keep kids away from scary characters. A young child cannot completely differentiate between reality and fantasy until they are around 8 years old.  Kids can easily get scared of the fantasy characters they watch on television. Turn off the scary TV shows or commit to having limited screen time together.

Make sure your child knows they are loved and you will always be there to protect them.  Let them know that you are always available to listen and help whenever needed.  Let them journal or draw about their feelings or experience. Keep the doors of communication constantly open.

Try using this Guided Relaxation to help your child release their fears.

Find a comfortable position on your back and slowly begin to listen to the sound of your beautiful breath. Feel your breath coming in, listen to it going out. 
On your inhale imagine breathing in love, whatever that may mean to you. Let it fill you from your tippy toes to your finger-tips and to the top of your head. 
Now exhale out your fears and worries, about anything and everything...school, grades, the dark... etc.

Breathe-in love now imagining that your breath is like a river sweeping through your body. It makes you feel strong, safe, and relaxed.

Breathe out your frustrations. Breathe out your fear. Imagine seeing your fear leave your body. In your mind watch yourself waving goodbye. "Goodbye fear!"

Breathe-in love and think, “I am calm.” Breathe out love. 
Breathe in love and think, “I can do this.” Breathe out peace.

Breathe-in peace, whatever that may look like to you and feel your body relaxing. Breathe-out love.

Breathe-in love, breathe-out peace. 
Continue for as long as you want! 

30 Ways to Have Fun With Your Kids This Spring!

30 Ways to Have Fun With Your Kids This Spring!

By Elissa Cirignotta

Flowers are blooming, the sun periodically shining through the drizzle, and the weather is nearly perfect. Get outside with the whole family this spring! Breathe the fresh air, go for a hike, take a bike ride, dance away the winter blues, plant a garden… and so much more! Read on for inspiration on your next spring adventure. 

Read article on Red Tricycle. 

Inspire Relaxation Before Your Child's Bedtime

 Inspire Relaxation Before Your Child's Bedtime

By Elissa Cirignotta

Image: Evelyn Cirignotta

Unwinding and relaxing can be a challenge for anyone, especially as we continue to live in a noisy loud world dominated by technology and distractions. If you want to create a calm environment from this fast paced world it’s time to create some new habits that help you and your family eliminate external and internal noise. It is possible to make bedtime a positive experience for everyone in the family. Read on for ideas on how to inspire relaxation in your home! 

Read Article Here. 

DELICIOUS WINTER CHIA SEED PUDDING!

HEALTHY Yummy APPLE-BlueBerry-CINNAMON-Coconut CHIA SEED PUDDING

Prep time: 30 mins

Serves: 2-3

Yummy healthy tummy loving breakfast/snack pudding perfect for cold winter days!

INGREDIENTS

·         2 cups 2% Milk

·         ½ cup of plain or honey yogurt

·         ½ cup coconut milk/cream

·         1/3 cup Maple Syrup

·         ½ teaspoon vanilla extract

·         ½ teaspoon ground flax seed

·         ½ teaspoon maca powder

·         ½ teaspoon hemp seeds

·         ⅔ cup chia seeds

·         2 tablespoons unsweetened coconut flakes

·         1 apple, cored and chopped

·         ½ banana cut in small bits

·         1 cup of frozen blueberries

INSTRUCTIONS

1.      Whisk ½ cup of yogurt with vanilla, maple syrup, & coconut flakes.

2.      Add milk, keep whisking. Slowly stir in chia seeds.

3.      Stir continuously for about 2 minutes while the chia seeds absorb the milk. Allow the mixture to sit in the fridge for 15 minutes.

4.      Add flax seed, maca powder, apple, blueberries, banana, & coconut cream/milk. Stir for 1 minute. Allow mixture to sit for 15 minutes in fridge.

5.      Top with coconut flakes, apple slices, hemp seeds, cinnamon, almonds…. Etc

We enjoyed a bowl of pudding + half a whole grain peanut-butter/banana sandwich as an afternoon winter snack! YUM! 

Stay Warm! Stay Cozy! Stay Cool!

~Elissa Cirignotta

Release... the best is yet to come.

Contributed by Jesse Soto

Seasons change. The sun’s journey from horizon to horizon irrevocably (or so it seems) shortens, and with these changes, what is seen by many as a shedding of the year’s hang-ups and newly-acquired emotional baggage climaxes in a pivotal point of transformation: the coming of the new year. This passing of the torch from the beaten and battered you to the emboldened, enlightened scion of truth that the cleansing fires of all the revelations of the past year’s shortfalls and mistakes have molded you into is your rise out of the ashes, your rebirth, your second chance.

Watch out 2016! This time IT WILL be different. The 32nd time is the charm…right?

Sounds great, doesn’t it? With the passing of one year to the next, and a single stroke of the clock, our slates are wiped clean and we again have the ability to be the person we think we should be. We charge on, invigorated by countless self-important soundbites of prose stamped on the sides of bottles and affixed to tea bags, plastered on manufactured memes against a backdrop of a shapely model’s silhouette, gazing contentedly across an impossibly beautiful vista, gone with an upward swipe of our thumbs.

This axis of time is steeped in ritual and cosmology as old and varied as the ever-growing collection of leggings and mats in each of our closets, dear readers. Myself, I’m not that much of a holiday person, but this one day of the year does seem to hold a bit more magic for me, even than perhaps my own birthday.

I’ve always been in love with the idea of transition and moments of transformation, of sudden, irreversible change. Growing up under the yolk of extreme and distorted religious doctrine, the trappings of tradition – holidays, organized religion, and even family gatherings (best to let sleeping dogs lie) – continue to lack significance for me beyond serving as worn-out exercises performed simply because the same was done the year before. The ability to shed the notions and predetermined ideals foisted upon me by people, by circumstance, by the passage of time serves as an exception to my rule, in the form of New Year’s Eve.

It’s on that night every year that I hold a private ceremony, a cleansing of spirit, if you will, which I call my Release Ceremony. I write out a long letter addressed to the year that is passing, and all of the stowaways that I am intentionally shedding and relinquishing from my control and my being. In this letter I record everything I am thankful for and everything which has introduced pain into my life – breakups, friendships gone south, transcendent evenings, great meals, achingly beautiful skylines – and through this homage to my perpetual balancing act, a salute to necessary and destructive creation. When the letter is complete, I light it on fire, burning my scribbles and releasing those moments as I enter the new year with a clear and open heart. Burning these discoveries, revelations, losses, and adventures brands them in my inner narrative and releases them as base matter, once again broken down and assimilated back into the folds of potential.

What is true is that we are only the temporary custodians of the particles which we are made of. They will go on to lead a future existence in the enormous universe that made them. 

-Stephen Hawking

What is also true is that we are only the temporary custodians of our pain, and of all the negative emotions we feel compelled to hold on to and carry with us. Let them go! Give that pain and the energy spent reconciling it back to the universe, where it can take on new life as gratitude, as love.

Now, on to something completely different...

2015 introduced loss into my life in a way I had not yet experienced, and I am so very thankful for the clarity it granted me. With last year’s Release Ceremony, I made goals, set challenges, and purposefully scared and shocked myself with every possible opportunity. I started running again. I quit smoking and the lifeless, dead-end job I hated, and landed one that I love at more than double the salary. As if that weren’t enough, I’m getting my own interior design/terrarium business off the ground, and loving every minute of my hectic pace. I wanted to explode, and I succeeded. Balancing all of this with my day-to-day of living with PTSD and manic depression has been, like, really, really, really hard. 

Life is short and the years continue to speed past (since when can anyone born in the 90’s operate a vehicle or get into BAR?!).

This is your December 2015 challenge, dear readers: create your own Release Ceremony this New Year’s Eve. Face 2015 and examine your year with naked honesty, allow yourself to love even the darkest moments. Ground yourself, love yourself, forgive yourself. As you take your first steps into the new year, mind you the words of C.S. Lewis:

“There are far, far better things ahead than any we leave behind.”

Jesse Soto is an artist living and working in Portland, OR, where he continues to collect abandoned shadows and human memories. An accomplished artist, published poet, and lover of all things green, Jesse spends his days keeping company with Philosophy, the Esoteric Arts, cooking and juicing with his partner, hiking, and appreciating the wondrous canvas of sky above. He can be reached for any number of reasons at soto.notebook@gmail.com. 

*image credit: Jott Robertson

Leaning In

Contributed by Krista Basis, E-RYT 200

I’ve been teaching Yoga since 2002. Wow. 13 years. I’ve owned three yoga studios. And most recently started to teach barre at my little cozy space called The Yoga Barre in Washougal Washington.

When I first started teaching barre, I thought “How can I possibly teach both yoga and barre? They have nothing to do with one another. One is spiritual. The other is pure fitness.  What the hell am I doing?”

In reconciling my feelings about teaching both modalities, I realized that I was a part of my beautiful community, and essentially we are all just trying to take care of ourselves. We are sharing stories, connecting, and helping others by just being there. This reminds me that we don’t have to pigeon hole ourselves to being one particular stereotype.  We can love what we do, be proud of what we love to do, and calmly detach from our own preconceived notions about being what we THINK we should be. As we all know it’s a lonely and never satisfying space to be in. Ditch the glitch!

The long and short of it is that I love people. I love to see people take care of themselves. I love to see people thrive. I have always been public service oriented (I spent my early 20’s volunteering and working for the Peace Corps & Avon Walk for Breast Cancer).  I’ve worked waitressing jobs, cleaning hotel rooms, making ice cream cakes for birthday parties. I’m a Usui Reiki Master and Tarot Card lover (and occasional reader with a glass of red wine). If people need taking care, I want in. And the fact of the matter is that’s not changing.  My job in life is to connect with people.

How do you practice Mindfulness?

At home: It’s HARD! There are a lot of distractions at my house. I try to squeeze in my meditation time right before I go to sleep at night. I usually play Yoga Nidra audio clips from Amazon Music (my current favorite is Yoga Nidra II – Yoga Nidra Practice with Healing Sounds by Robin Carnes)

I also try, and fail more times then I like to acknowledge, to turn off all technology and spend time with my husband, child, furry children by talking, hugging, and trying to stay present.  Walking my dog is a joyful part of my mindfulness practice.

At work: No matter who shows up or whatever mood they are in….I try to be present for them. I make space for them- to get what they need and to shake loose. I am supportive, as best I can. Do I let people walk over me? Nope. That is not real Metta (practice of loving kindness). If my students come in being flustered, slightly rude, annoyed, etc. I try to be light hearted and kind. Does it work all the time? Surprisingly, yes, it does. They walk out in a better mood or note that even if they were a jackass…..the light in me honors that sometime prickly person I am as well.  It helps me to meditate on the “All One” messy human show. It’s a good reminder that we need some compassion now and then, especially when we are the little stinkers.

In  my community: I try to help or give when I can. I stay aware and present. If I see that someone needs help – maybe a senior who cannot carry their groceries – or someone homeless at a highway ramp, I offer my support, I give money. I also volunteer at my daughter’s school washing dishes every Thursday. I would love to be Mother Teresa-ing it all the time…. I help when I can and know that I make a difference in my own way every day. I’m enough.  

Why do you do what you do?

This question makes me laugh. Not sure why, but I question it a lot!  I am not sure why I do what I do!?! Logically, I would have a lot more stability working a “regular” 9-5 job with a 401K. And, honest to goodness, maybe I would not stress out so much on a daily basis about what I am going to teach or how many people attended class, how am I going to pay my teachers and bills this month? What I can say is that I do what I do because it makes me feel good about helping others.  That almost every day I am connecting with people on so many different levels….ways that an office job might not afford me.  Sometimes I feel it is my Dharma and that is a comfort.

How does being in the present moment heal you?

Lately, I have been reading “Taking the Leap” by Peema Chadron. She discusses the Buddhist concept of Shenpa (being attached or hooked). I have been using this to heal myself. The practice is taking little snippets of time to meditate when and where I can. I stopped feeling guilty for not spending what I thought was ample time meditating.

Seriously, if you are able to meditate for an hour on a daily basis, I envy you. As for me, running a studio, teaching yoga and barre classes, being mother to an 8 year old, active dog and 18 year old senior cat (who has lots of health issues now) I have little time to be in the NOW. But with Pema’s guidance, I realized all I need to do is:

1.      Acknowledge that you are hooked.

2.      Pause. Take 3 deep breaths. And lean into the discomfort of whatever it is that you are hooked or attached to. Feel it. Taste it. Be curious about it.

3.      Move on. Do not make it a competition that you win or lose.

I cannot tell you how many times a day I do this. It is simple. And guess what? I have had so many big moments of revelation. Before I would have thought that I needed more time to acknowledge all of this “issues” that I am carrying around. But, for me, I realized that all I need to do is pause, lean in and move on. You don’t need to keep replaying the old stories. You can quickly take in what you need, acknowledge it, and get on with your life.  I am learning to lean in.

Krista is a Massachusetts gal who loves to travel.  She has visited and lived in Mexico, St. Vincent, Jamaica, St. Lucia, Grenada, Dominica, Trinidad, South Africa, Lesotho, Costa Rica, Italy, Turkey and most recently Thailand. She loves to hike with her husband Dan, daughter Zoe and miniature Australian Shepard Annie in beautiful Oregon.

Krista teaches at her little studio The Yoga Barre most days. She also has the honor of teaching at Karma Yoga in Clackamas, OR and The Love Hive in Portland, OR. She's grateful to have such a wonderful community who opened there arms wide in the Northwest.